It may be one of the most challenging things to do as a parent – choosing a guardian for your children if something happens to you. There are many reasons to consider choosing a guardian for your children regardless if you are a single parent or have a partner/spouse, including the death of both parents, incapacity of parents, military deployment or extended absence, serious health concerns, high-risk professions, protection against custody battles or unwanted guardianship, and sudden emergencies.
If you don’t make a plan, the decision may ultimately rest with the court.
Here are some questions to help you plan and ensure your children have a loving, stable, and nurturing home.
Questions for Parents to Ask Themselves When Choosing a Guardian
Q: What qualities should my child’s guardian have?
A: Consider values, parenting style, stability, emotional connection with your child, and financial responsibility.
Q: Is the potential guardian physically, emotionally, and financially capable of caring for my child?
A: Guardianship is a big responsibility, and a guardian should be able to provide a stable and supportive environment, both emotionally and financially. Time and resources will be necessary for the undertaking.
Q: Does the potential guardian have a strong relationship with my child?
A: If your child already has a close bond with the guardian, the transition may be easier.
Q: Does the potential guardian share my parenting philosophy and values?
A: If religious beliefs, education, or discipline are important to you, make sure they align.
Q: Would my child need to relocate?
A: Consider the potential impact of moving to another city, state, or even country. Removing your children from their current surroundings may not be in the best interest.
Q: Should I name a single guardian or a couple?
A: Parents often choose a married couple who are close relatives or friends. Consider what would happen if they divorce or one passes away.
Q: Who will manage my child’s finances?
A: You can appoint a separate person as a financial guardian or trustee to handle money matters.
Q: Should I have an alternate guardian?
A: Having a backup ensures your child has a designated caregiver if the primary guardian cannot serve.
Communicate for the Best Outcome
Talk with your chosen guardian and alternate guardian to ensure they understand their great responsibility if something happens. You should make your expectations clear.
Talk with your children (if old enough to understand) about your anticipated guardianship choice and why you believe the guardian to be the right decision. Discuss with your child relocation issues or if your child expresses a guardian preference. Including your children in the conversation and planning may cause less frustration and anger later if guardianship is needed.
I’m being asked to be a potential guardian of children. What should I consider before accepting?
Likewise, you may be asked by family or friends to serve as guardian to their children if something happens to them. Caring for someone else’s children is a big responsibility you will be entrusted with. Here are some questions to consider if you should accept the obligation.
Questions for Potential Guardians to Consider
Q: Am I willing and able to take on this responsibility?
A: Guardianship is a long-term commitment that requires financial, emotional, and lifestyle adjustments. Talk with the parents about any concerns you may have regarding money, stability, or how your lifestyle may change. Expectations from both parties should be discussed before any final guardian choice is made.
Q: How would taking on this role affect my family and my current children?
A: Consider how your spouse, children, or extended family might feel about adding a new child to the household. Including your immediate family in the discussion will allow everyone to feel heard and ask questions. Your family should be supportive of this responsibility before committing to it.
Q: Do I have the financial means to support this child?
A: While financial support may be provided through the parents’ estate or life insurance, you should consider the personal financial impact.
Q: Am I aligned with the parents’ wishes regarding education, discipline, and lifestyle?
A: If there are major differences, it may lead to challenges in raising the child as the parents intended.
Q: What would happen if my circumstances changed (e.g., job loss, health issues, moving)?
A: Consider whether you would still be able to serve as a guardian if your situation changes.
Q: Would I be comfortable making medical and legal decisions for the child?
A: Guardians may need to make critical decisions about healthcare, education, and other legal matters. Expressing your concerns and thoughts with the parents on this matter may be helpful.
The child’s parent(s) should ensure any legal paperwork is completed for a quicker and smoother guardianship transition. The parents may also want to prepare a letter to go with the legal paperwork to explain and support their choice of guardian as being the best for the interest of their children.
The chosen guardian should have copies of the legal documents or know where they are and have contact information for accessing them should guardianship be needed.
Who do I go to for guardianship planning and help?
To help prevent legal complications, including guardianship laws varying by state, you should seek professional advice. Engaging professionals is an investment that will cost you money upfront but will save time, money, and heartache in the future for your children and chosen guardian.
Professional Services Parents Should Seek
- Estate Planning Attorney – An attorney can draft necessary legal documents, ensure compliance with state laws, and provide guidance on choosing a guardian and trustee.
- Financial Advisor – A financial professional can help parents assess life insurance needs, set up trusts, and create a financial plan to support their child’s future.
- CPA Tax Professional– An accountant can advise on tax implications of trusts, inheritance, and guardianship-related financial matters.
- Family Law Attorney (if needed) – If there are complex family dynamics (e.g., blended families, disputes over guardianship), a family law attorney can help navigate potential legal challenges.
- Counselor or Family Therapist – Parents and potential guardians may benefit from discussing the emotional aspects of guardianship with a professional.
Legal Documents Needed for Guardianship in Estate Planning
There are multiple legal documents parents may need to have in place to address guardianship of their children. Work with your planning professionals to ensure you have the correct forms and they are completed per the laws of your state.
- Will – The will is the primary document where parents name a legal guardian for their minor children. Without this designation, the court will decide who assumes guardianship.
- Guardianship Nomination Form – Some states allow parents to file a separate document naming a guardian, which may simplify the process if the court needs to confirm the choice.
- Letter of Intent – While not legally binding, this document provides guidance on how parents want their child to be raised, covering areas such as education, religion, healthcare, and personal values.
- Trust Agreement – A trust can hold and manage assets for the child’s benefit, ensuring financial stability while protecting the funds from mismanagement. Parents can appoint a trustee to oversee the financial aspects separate from the guardian.
- Power of Attorney for Minor Children – This document allows a temporary guardian to make decisions for a child in case of an emergency or if the parents are unable to do so for a short period.
- Health Care Proxy / Medical Power of Attorney – This document allows the designated guardian or another trusted individual to make medical decisions for the child if needed.
- Financial Power of Attorney – This gives a trusted person authority to manage finances for the child, which may be useful if the guardian is not also handling financial matters.
- Life Insurance Policy – While not a legal document, life insurance can provide financial security for the child and ensure the guardian has the necessary resources to care for them.
